In a world where Etsy allowed sellers to leave feedback for buyers...

by Hanna Gough

 “All characters and events in this blog post — even those based on real people — are entirely fictional. All customer reviews and messages are embellished… poorly. The following language contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be read by everyone.” 


I've recently opened an Ebay store to add yet another channel to my business (sales have been sooooo slow, am I right?) and one thing that I have noticed already is how speedy customer reviews are. After 10 orders this month, 4 buyers have already left feedback. I really wish that Etsy were this productive. 

Here's what I love about the buyer feedback system on Ebay: 

They are prompted to leave feedback. 

They just give positive, neutral or negative feedback. No need for the confusing stars!

They have to be specific. Like, seriously, they have to rate and review sections. 

..But there's more! 

As a seller, can also leave reviews for my customers. It really got me thinking, what would you be saying about your experiences as an Etsy seller if you could leave feedback for certain customers? 

Here are some of my reviews that I'd love to leave: 

1. "An absolute a pedantic tw*t. Would refund immediately if I saw his name again." 

2. "Cannot download a PDF to save their life and it is my fault because I work for Adobe. Still haven't seen a contract or payslip to prove this yet but ok. Interact with caution" 

3. "Alan likes to give 4* reviews, even when everything is wonderful, because Alan is a miserable c**t and will deny joy to anybody he comes across. I will try harder to avoid any future Alans if I am to get Star Seller status"

4. "Mitsy has no concept of geography and was displeased with the time it took for her parcel to travel across the Atlantic ocean on £4 postage" 

5. "Whilst forgoing the opportunity to open Google and see what an inch actually is in cm, Marie took the opportunity to leave a 1 star review to express her dismay at the fact that 15cm is not 12 inches, as previously believed. Thank you for prioritising me above your dignity, Marie." 



So, what would you be saying if you were allowed to review your customers?